May 2012
Oh yeah. My laptop broke. Again. But this time the software crashed.
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The dietician says to eat each meal an I won’t binge as long as the right food groups are together and shit.
But.
I’m just fucking greedy. I don’t binge because I’m hungry. I binge because I want the fucking food and I want it then and there. But I don’t want the consequences of eating it so I purge. I’m just fucking greedy. I just want to taste it all because...
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hideouslythin:
We may be eating disordered but we are not stupid.
If we could see how tiny we are we would not post pictures/posts saying we look huge. We don’t see how tiny we are, we see the monster that is feeding our disordered thoughts, and that monster is so huge, you cannot begin to imagine.
psychiatrist: you havent been self mutilating right?
me: *smiles and looks down* um
psychiatrist:
me: well, i have actually..
psychiatrist: but you promised you would stop
me: it isnt easy
psychiatrist:
me: promises dont mean anything to me.
psychiatrist: why
me: no one ever keeps their promise
